I Hope We All Make It

Over the past two and a half years of law school, I've realized that this sentiment is the reason I don't alway love my school environment. Law school is set up as a competition- everything is graded, curved, ranked, and directly impacts your future. For every A the person next to you receives, that's one less that you could get. At times, it seems like everyone is your enemy - at finals it can seem like you don't want to be around anyone in your class. People get possessive about their notes or weird about where they sit in the library. Horror stories abound about hidden books and people not returning supplements so that classmates can't check them out.

Even without intending to, it feels like people are always psyching each other out. Whether it's nonchalantly complaining about their journal note topic (so everyone knows they're on journal) or talking about balancing studying for finals and multiple job interviews (so everyone knows they have multiple interviews), it's tough to know the difference between legitimate concerns and those who are trying to  make you feel inferior. It's hard not to be reminded that with how the system is set up, someone else's success truly can mean your failure.

One of the most important things to keep in mind is to try to be above this sort of rivalry. I'm not always great at it, but I do try to congratulate people when they are genuinely excited about something that has gone well for them. And I try not to beat myself up too much when that means I missed out on an opportunity. It's not always easy, but that's life. There will always be someone smarter, faster, stronger, or more accomplished than you are. The important thing is that we're all successful in our own way, by our own definition. I won't be graduating at the top of our class by any means, I don't know if I'll have a solid job, but I do know that I hope we all make it to walk across the stage together in May.

Silver Lining

One thing I've realized over the past month is how to tell who your true friends are. It's not the ones that are there when everything is perfect and fun- it's the ones who are there to help you when everything isn't. A little over a month ago, I had a serious concussion- my second this semester. Because I'd had one already, it was severe and led to post concussive disorder. It was really tough to go from a full class schedule and working two jobs to being put on bed rest. I couldn't drive, I couldn't read or watch tv, I couldn't study. For me, it was the ultimate torture.
Regardless, the silver lining was that I learned was who was really there for me. I had friends that when I told them about my condition, offered to come by and spend time with me... and then I never heard from them again. These were people who I count among my friends, but weren't really there for me when it mattered. They aren't bad people, they aren't even bad friends- they just showed me that I shouldn't count on them for the big things.
Surprisingly, the people that I found I really could rely on were a few of my friends from high school who moved back to town and with whom I've only been back in touch for the past year or so. The goofy guys in their cartoon socks were the ones to stop by and pick me up for a change of scenery, to drop off dinner for me, and to let me know that they were there for me every step of the way while I recovered. I spent a lot of evenings wrapped up in a cartoon character blanket on their couch watching Monday Night Football. Not my choice of activity, but my choice of people. The greatest kind - the ones who step up and surprise you in the best possible way.
True friendship isn't about the people who write on your Facebook wall all the time, the ones you go shopping with, or even the ones that you talk to or text all the time. They're the ones that are there for you when times aren't so good. Life isn't always fun and games- sometimes it knocks you down - it's important to have people there who will help you get back up.

Tie A Knot In It

The past few weeks have been tough. It's getting to be that time of year where the weeks until finals hit single digits and the stress level hits all time highs. As rewarding as my job is and as much as I love going to the office, it's tough balancing that with the increasing demands of school as the semester draws to a close. On top of those worries, I sustained a severe concussion and wasn't allowed to attend my classes or work for the past two weeks.

What sounds like a good excuse for a vacation any other time of year was an extremely unwelcome interruption to my schedule- especially since I wasn't allowed to stress my brain by reading or using my computer. That certainly made keeping up with the classes I've missed particularly hard. There were a few days when I had no idea how I was going to make it through the rest of this semester - the doctors were talking about me having an MRI and my professors were talking about me putting off finals- someone even mentioned me not finishing the semester. That was certainly an unwelcome worry. I didn't know what to do or even if I'd be able to do anything - I was told that I needed to just stay on bed rest and that trying to do anything would make me worse. Hearing that, I was at the end of my rope over how to handle school, work, everything.

I tried to go on to class and work until I realized I really couldn't handle it. I had to listen to the doctor (always something that's been difficult for me to do) and stay in bed. That was the only way to get through it and, with time, I'd figure the rest out. As Thomas Jefferson says, I just had to tie a knot in my rope and hang on.

Thankfully, I'm able to do a few things now and hopefully will be back to my full schedule next week. But the past few weeks have been important in reminding me that sometimes life gets tough ... and then it gets tougher. Sometimes all you can do is ride it out and know that everything will sort itself out. Finals are going to be tough, but I'm grateful that I'll be able to take them. So even though I was "at the end of my rope," I found a new, more grateful perspective.

Mid-Semester Stresses

I haven't been posting lately because it seems like (once again!) everything gets super busy all at the same time. Between school and the accompanying homework, actual work, babysitting, my soccer team, familial obligations, and a million other little things, I feel like I haven't had any time to even breathe, let alone wash the mountains of laundry piling up in my closet (seriously, my white jeans are at the bottom of the hamper). I realized that as important as all of these things are and as much as I really hate saying no to people, I need to start saying no to a few things. As much as I genuinely enjoy being busy and feeling fulfilled, the realization that the only time I'd spent awake in my apartment lately was my fifteen minute shower before bed, was a little depressing.

So when my coworker asked me to babysit last minute at work yesterday, I said no, even though I didn't have an event or obligation on my calendar. I'd blocked out the night for me time, which has to be equally important. I've always felt like I wasn't being productive if I wasn't actively doing something at that minute. This particularly bothers me during the school semester, when I feel like every spare minute should be spent reading or studying. But instead, this week I put in the extra time to read ahead in my classes for the entire week. And last night I put on my pajamas at 8, lit my new fall-scented candles, and watched Sex and the City re-runs on E! for a few hours from my bed.

And instead of feeling like I should be stressed about that fact or reading or studying or even washing the growing pile of dirty clothes I know will only get bigger, I reminded myself that it's important to take the time out from the laundry list of stresses and have me time to help keep myself balanced. Because in the long run, the two or three hours I gave myself last night will most likely not translate into a lower grade in any of my classes, but it will give me the strength and sanity to power through a study marathon this weekend instead of burning out.

Do you ever feel like everything gets busy all at once? It's like the old saying "when it rains, it pours" (which the weather is coincidentally doing now). How do you take time out from the stress?

Wish List Wednesday: Work Dresses

Since law students typically work in the summer, I have an extensive collection of work-appropriate sleeveless dresses in bright colors. Now that I have a job that will continue through the school year, I'm realizing that I need to expand my cool-weather work wardrobe. While I generally have a cardigan or a blazer with me, I don't like feeling like I can't take it off. Keeping in mind the cold front that's promised to arrive in town this weekend, I've been on the hunt for long-sleeve work dresses that I'll be comfortable wearing without a blazer.

Annie Griffin's Carson dress is described as the "ultimate work-to-dinner dress this fall" and I agree.  I love that it has 3/4 length sleeves and a flattering tie waist. Plus, the pretty silk comes in a variety of patterns, perfect for when I end up buying multiples.

Banana Republic's Gemma wrap dress is a perennial favorite. I bought it last year in black and white stripe, but I really love this crimson color for fall. The deep v-neck is flattering, but isn't so low that it's inappropriate at your desk and looks really pretty with a statement necklace. Plus, the knit fabric is comfortable and stays wrinkle free even after a long day at work.

DKNY's Berry ruffle animal print dress- The darker coloring and long sleeves make this look perfect for fall. The animal print keeps it fun, but the modest higher collar and ruffles make it work-appropriate. I bet this would look great with black tights and black ankle boots (plus, it's on sale!).

Sunday in Brooklyn's Fit and Flare mini- I love anything cobalt blue, and especially a cobalt work-worthy dress. I love the fit and flare silhouette of this dress and think it would look fun belted or with leopard pumps. My one concern is that since they call it a 'mini' it may be too short for work for some people - not much of a problem for me at 5'2"!

Tinley Road's stretch wool dress- I love a good sheath dress in the summer, and this dress from Tinley Road looks like the fall appropriate equivalent of my favorite warm weather dresses. It comes in both grey and black, and will be the perfect basic backdrop for my new Loren Hope tassel necklace!

JB by Julie Brown black and ivory scallop print 'Allison' stretch jersey dress- I have a weakness for these faux-wrap dresses- the band at the waist is so flattering, but doesn't require fussing with a tie all day like some true wrap dresses do. The black and white pattern is fun without being too over the top for my office and would easily go with tights, boots, and a blazer for when it turns really cold.

Any of these dresses look like something you would wear to work? I love that there are more long-sleeve options appearing as it cools down!