One important lesson that my life lately has reminded me of is that it's important to 'roll with it.' My job wasn't going the way I wanted it too, the renovation on my apartment got behind and I haven't moved in yet, and people keep coming in and out of my life. It's hard to keep up with sometimes. In keeping with my resolution from a few weeks ago to go for it and say yes to new experiences, I'm also trying to learn to 'roll with it' and be more flexible.
The two philosophies go hand-in-hand. Part of my trouble with learning to say yes to everything was that the things I was saying yes to didn't always go the way I planned. It's hard when you envision a situation going a certain way and it then being a radically different experience. I was so excited to go to Boston a few weekends ago. It seemed perfect that my friend had an airline ticket voucher and I needed to get out of town. I envisioned a big girls weekend where we'd have fun, be super touristy, and catch up. Instead, even though we did a little of those things, I spent a lot of the weekend feeling awkward that she and her boyfriend kept bickering with each other. At the end of it all, I realized that I just needed to be there for her and shrug off the expectations I'd had. As disappointed as I was and as selfish as I felt in wishing things had gone differently, it's way more important for her to be happy than for me to pout about what I had wanted. I needed to learn to roll with the fact that my weekend took a different turn.
It's the same thing with my apartment situation. I was so excited to go buy paint and pick out fabric. Then my landlady decided that she wanted to replace the plumbing and the kitchen floor before I move. That was two weeks ago. It was hard to let go of the fact that I was ready to move and accept that it's obviously not happening at the speed I would like. It's something I don't have any control over and just have to let go of. Instead of being upset, I've been trying to remind myself that I should be grateful that my parents live nearby and I have a roof over my head. It's hard not to have my independence, but it truly could be so much worse. I'm not happy about the way it's going, but I'm not going to change anything by being upset- I have to let it go.
The people in my life have presented a similar dilemma. The past month or so has been a constant stream of people in and out of my life. It's been hard to keep up with, let alone understand. People I loved decided that they didn't want to see me anymore; that was unbearably hard. People I haven't seen in years have suddenly moved back to town and we're navigating a new friendship. Classmates that I hadn't talked to before are now calling me to go places. It's confusing. It's not easy. But I had to realize that it wasn't making it any easier to dwell on it. I was driving myself crazy trying to understand how other people think and that's just not always possible. As long as I haven't done anything wrong to someone (in which case, obviously baked goods and apologies galore), I have to let it go.
Learning to roll with it is not easy for me at all. I've always been a type-A, obsessive sort of person who wants to know the why behind everything. But this summer I'm trying to unlearn those tendencies and understand that the only person I can control is myself. My stressing doesn't help the situation and it only hurts me. I know right now it's not going to be an easy lesson to learn, but it's certainly an important one.
What do you do when things don't go your way? Do you stress and try to explain the situation? How do you remind yourself to 'roll with it?'
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